Summer holidays. 30 days off school. 28 days annual leave. The maths simply doesn’t add up, and yet millions of families make it work every year.
Watch Here:
n this episode of M’s The Word, host Sarah Tucker is talking all about memory making, and how to actually enjoy the summer with your children rather than just survive it. Sarah is joined by mums who share their honest experiences and practical tips on planning ahead, managing childcare juggling acts, and creating meaningful moments even in the chaos.
In this episode we cover:
- When to start planning for the summer holidays
- Childcare strategies that actually work
- How to create lasting memories without burning out
- Tips for working parents balancing it all.
Whether you rely on grandparents, holiday clubs, flexible working, or sheer willpower, this episode is for you.
Full transcript:
Welcome back to M’s the Word and today our Mword is memory making. Now ahead of the summer holidays, I know there are moms out there who are wondering how they’re going to balance it all, how they’re going to juggle it all. We’re hoping in this episode to have tips and ideas for you so that you can have a happy summer with your children. So, children get around 70 weekdays off school every year with 30 of those in the summer alone. While most working parents get just 28 days of annual leave to cover everything. So, even if you use every single day of your holiday on child care, you still wouldn’t even cover the summer holidays. So mathematically it doesn’t add up which is why families rely on grandparents, holiday clubs, nannies, shift swaps, unpaid leave, flexible work, or sheer resilience. Okay, ladies. So when do you start planning for the summer holidays? How do you do it? Why are you looking at me like I would have a plan? Well, hello. Um yeah, I I’m I’m very much a wing it kind of mom. So I don’t like to be I have a structure around how my work week works generally that is carried on. So my mom will um help out on a Thursday and Friday and the rest of the days are a bit of a juggle really. So Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, you’ve got the kids at home. Yes. And working. Yes. And then Thursday, F. Yeah. For six whole weeks. Okay. Thanks for reminding me. Uh yeah, and it it doesn’t work that well. But this is the first year surprise one surprise doesn’t work that well. Um but this is the first year that I’m solely responsible for it and I think that will be better because I think I’ve always had an expectation of help on off days or you know flexing shifts around and things like this which didn’t really come to fruition. So, I think now I will be much more focused around holiday clubs, paid child care. Um, yeah. Any swaps? Anyone want some children swaps? You know, so you can get some ideas from this episode. Yeah, I think this one’s really going to help me. Yeah. Thank you. Great. What about you? Do you know what? For one one moment in my life, I’m really organized with the summer holidays. And so far, I know because I’m not that person really, am I? But um I love the summer holidays now like I used to when I was a kid. And um thankfully I have a very flexible job. Thank you very much Sarah Tacker. Um but I attack it uh early June and I print out I can’t even believe these words are coming out of my mouth. But I print out a six week calendar. I do. I’m so proud of you. I know. It’s like a spreadsheet nearly. And I basically uh clock in anything that’s already booked. So like we like to go glamping or we’ve got things you know might have already been booked. So they are days I’m clearly having with the kids. And then I’ll make like notes of like when I think I’m gonna work. And I’ll go from uh I don’t like to work while the kids are there. So I’ll give myself uh try and give myself three working days in this in two or three a week. And sometimes you do the twilight hours where they’re asleep. So I’ll try and work out the six weeks like that. And then I’ll send a message out to the grandparents and be like, “What days out of these would you like them?” Like it’s a gift my children. Um and and often actually because they’re in both in school now they do like to have a day with them sometimes separately because they individually they’re really easy to do. So then one nan might nick one there one there. So then that gets ticked off. Also my husband because he only works out it’s the six weeks holidays the day of the six weeks holiday. So I do like to tell him it is coming. Would you like one of them or both of them at any point? I said nick that one. And then I fill the rest with clubs. Yeah. And also what I’ve learned about the summer holidays which I really enjoy is that you know the light is there for a long time. So if I pick them up from a club and it’s half 3 4 we’ve still got the rest of the afternoon evening to go and do something. So I don’t feel like oh I’ve spent it working or you’re in a club I’ve wasted life. I haven’t and I’m feel really at ease with all of that. So yeah winning. Good. Wow. I should have a bit of that. Please do. Yeah. Um, this is this year will be my third summer holidays. The first one I was on the back end of maternity. Yeah. And I was feral by the end of it. Um, I think it’s because my partner it’s not for me. You’re doing this. I think my partner thought, oh, she’s a maternity by the end of it. Oh, it’s a tough conversation. Um, so last year I planned it a little bit more and I feel like this year, so I booked my first summer event in September last year for this year. What was that? Princess Fest. I’ve booked that as well. Yeah. So, if things come up, I will just book them in. Book them in. Book them in because I like organized fun. Yeah. Um, sorry. Um, and I’ve realized cuz I I’m very aware that the pressure of having my little one’s childhood in my hands is that we’ve booked just caravan holidays. I was brought up in caravan holidays. I’m obsessed with them. My kids love them. Is try and get one or two weeks where I can affordability wise in in the summer. So I feel like we’ve done something. And then there was a mix of him doing some work in the morning and me doing it in the afternoon, grandparents, and it’s just you you would just sort of find each other in September like we did it. We survived. Okay, cool. We got another year. Yeah. It’s just like I remember what you looked like. Um and hold a conversation. But I think there is an element of survival. Yeah. You’re just surviving. Especially when they’re young cuz some of the children will be too young to go to um clubs. So still they till they hit five. You see this? This is a theme we talked about in another episode. I didn’t have that cuz nursery carried on. So I really with that actually at five and onwards. So yeah, I didn’t have if id had that I think I wouldn’t be sitting here as like happy about it as I am. Yeah. Yeah. But different ages, isn’t it? Different things. Like you say, some people have got nursery, but if you’ve got preschool, that shuts down for the holidays as well. Um, so yes, the school, anything ending with school is generally what’s going to disappear. Okay, good. I I do the print out as well. Um, but I make a list of these are the things that if we manage to tick all these things off, I will feel like I’ve had a summer with my children. So, it ranges from fruit picking to um watching one of the outdoor cinemas to like or to going to a theme park, you know, and I’ll include the children in that. What is the one or two things you would love to do with me this summer? They go in and then everything dances around that. Twilight hours, we talked about it really briefly there. It’s become a very normal phrase in the mortgage mom. I don’t know if we made it up. I feel we did. We’ll claim it. We’ll claim it. Um we’ll copyright it on this episode. So twilight hours is something that we operate in the mortgage mom where you are out with your kids in the day while it’s hot, while it’s sunny. Hopefully, please. UK. And then when you get home, the idea is that they’ve had a nice day out. They’ve had some exercise. They’ve had some fresh air as have you. And they might be quite happy and due for them to maybe have some screen time, maybe have some downtime, which means you can log in or perhaps your partner can help in those hours. And we have found twilight hours have a certain kind of magic to it where you are very productive. The world is quiet and we can kind of all be in that zone together and it’s quite lovely especially on a warm bar meet. You’ve had a lovely day out and then you get some stuff done in the evening and you’re like I’ve I’ve nailed motherhood and working life today. You get the occasional day like that. So you feel like you’ve lost one of these precious summers. But memory making doesn’t always mean expensive. Sometimes, like we’ve said, it’s ice cream on a Tuesday, a board game, messy kitchens, long evenings in the garden, a water slide. My kids love water balloons. Just that. Yeah, exactly. So, what do your children actually remember? And most importantly, what do you want them to? Yeah, that I was there. Yeah, that’s what I wanted to remember. That’s Yeah, just that I was there cuz I was really lucky. I was brought up with my mom always being there. So, she was practically a stay at home mom and that is a really strong memory. We didn’t necessarily do loads or go and do too much but as a family unit we were there and I sort of find her or both my kids you know but both remember that I was be I was able to be there and be present. We do remind her why my oldest while we work and she’d always go I know you’re working so we can go to Disney. I’m like no that’s not just the sole reason but sure live that. Yeah but just that I was there and I was I didn’t miss anything if I could. That’s lovely. I do think that just obviously the summer whether it’s really hot or overcast you get the light for a long time and I think being outdoors that’s when my kids and I are most and you know my husband and anyone just feel calmst and I think that’s what I want them to remember just that sort of feeling of ease that barmy kind of feeling and I think that’s what summer is and interestingly I remember one summer one of the first days of summer and I had arranged to meet my friend and we went to this amazing place with all these activities and my kids were awful for the first half an hour because it was like they were so overwhelmed by what to do next that we just didn’t get the best of them. We worked it out and we did end up having a really good day. But two days after that, we went somewhere that is essentially the ruins of a castle. We go there a lot. There’s no nothing to do. They could not have been happier. Like 3 hours playing whatever they were playing in this place. And I thought, gosh, it isn’t like not to say don’t go to these amazing places, but that’s not what it is. It’s just giving them this room and this space. And I think it affects a lot on how you are. So even if you’re staying at home that day and like you say with a water slide or something, are you chilled? Are you in the like that sort of version of yourself? And I think I’d like them to remember joy and and outsideness. Yeah, it’s it’s joy and laughter for me. Yeah. I want them to know that I always joined in. Uh, and I think I get myself in some real sticky situations sometimes. But I got wedged in a in a water slide I’d created because I was just too wide for it. It was a a children’s slide. I was like this. But it’s it’s a hilarious moment, you know, and they love that and they say, “Oh, mom, do you remember when you met to like get the fairy liquid slides, you know?” So, but why not, you know? So, I think that’s what summer’s about to me is those long lazy days in the garden. it is the sunshine and the laughter and I think it allows you to have that kind of impromptu that you don’t really get any other time of year perhaps because you have to plan less for the weather or I don’t know what it is but you know we live near near the seafront don’t we and I’m always trying to remind myself there’s nothing stopping you from popping to the seafront at 4:00 day it’s not a beach doesn’t have to be a beach day where you’ve got everything in the kitchen sink with you can pop down there have some chips sit on you know and and that I’m like remember to do spontaneous things just for a few hours. And I don’t know why why the summer and no other time, but that is when I’m most spontaneous. I’m literally doing that tonight. So yeah, I’ve said to the boys, “All right, I said, “Let’s just go out in the car and we’ll drive down the seafront and we’ll throw some stones in the sea and we take a loaf of bread and we feed the seagulls upwards.” You know, when you feed ducks, you go that way, don’t you? When the seagulls throw upwards and they’ll catch it out the sky, you know. So, but those moments that they’re the moments that the boys have, you know, the loved ones. I just love the ease and flow of summer so much. So, it takes me a minute. I think it takes me and the kids two weeks I’ve worked out now. So, I think I’m in Well, I’ve done quite a lot of summer holidays by now. Um, I feel like it takes two weeks for us all to really sink into the new pace. The mornings are slower. I always start my child care later if I’m having childare that day just so we can have that ease and flow that you don’t get on a school morning. They can be in their pajamas a bit longer, you know, and we’re just not rushing around as much for me. Yeah, it takes me a while to become summer holiday mom Sarah because I’m summer holiday Sarah and I like her and I want to take her with me to the to the working days. It doesn’t quite work like that. I always cry at the end of summer holidays. I cry at the start because it’s coming and then I cry at the end because it’s over and by then I’ve morphed into summer Sarah and I’m like ah don’t go back this is so fun. Um but I you touched on it then my goal is always do you remember when collecting as many of those as possible that randomly when a photo comes up on my phone they go do you remember that do you remember when this happened or do you remember we used to do this you know that’s for me that’s a sign of a good childhood. Yeah. But yeah let’s talk about the guilt. So if you’re working you can feel guilty. If you’re not working, you can feel financial pressure. If they’re in clubs, you can worry. And if they’re home, you worry they’re bored and missing out. So, um, what do you think? Let’s come on to a viewer question. I am a working mom and I can’t afford to take six weeks off or book expensive holiday camps. I feel like I’m failing my children every summer because I’m constantly juggling work and child care and I see loads of moms doing amazing things with their children on social media. How do I make it feel magical without burning out or ruining my career? This hurts me so much because this is kind of one of the biggest reasons for setting up a business that is flexible, but it’s still not normal. And that misunderstanding in management of the juggle is very real for lots of women and men. So we have to take oursel out of our reality here because our reality is different to that. say, “What advice can we give to Angela who is that working mom and feels like she’s failing her children?” I think the first thing she’s got to do is remember that social media is just a glimpse. That’s probably just a very good photo in one of the maddest weeks of maddest day. So, actually what she’s seeing is a probably that person’s reality as well. So, not to put pressure on, but also speak to her children because I can bet your bottom dollar the magic is in the basics like we’ve just said like going to the park or when she does finish and she just lets some stuff watch a movie. Yeah. Popcorn, you know, build a den. They all love that. I don’t think it has to be anything wild. It’s just the basics and being present even for an hour. Yeah. And that after school activity, like you say, going to the beach. If you could do one hour a day, Angela, or one hour three times a week, you’ll feel that essence of summer. I wonder if Angela has the ability to reach out to other people that feel similar and could share some day swaps or, you know, if she’s got any family around as well. But a practical tip that I didn’t know until a couple of years into using the kids clubs is you can use your tax-free child care discount. So you get 20% off in a lot of the clubs that go run through the summer holidays which doesn’t cover it all. It’s only 20% but does make a difference. Um and so it can be that you know financially there’s something that’s maybe fits better. I would also say it’s worth talking to your management and just saying to them is there any flexibility that I can work differently in the summer for those period of six weeks. If they say no, I want to know why. Because employees need to understand the juggle is real. The maths doesn’t add up. The maths is so off that we just all talk about it and circulate it on social media and comment how bad it is, but no one’s actually doing anything about it. So, companies need to role model this. What can you offer to your staff in the six weeks holidays? Can they work 7 till 2 and 7 till 9 in the evening? Can they Is it possible? at 6 weeks to you in the company. It’s someone’s childhood to them. It’s it’s a parent who is weighed down. So I think there is a massive um movement needed in company structures to support. And you Angela might be the change that is needed for others. If you don’t ask, you don’t know. And their answers will tell you a lot about who you’re working for anyway. So I would ask, be more Shelly. Ask for what you want. Always ask. Yeah, for sure. from you. Yeah, I I think it’s all of those things, isn’t it? You know, also speak to your children’s school or other local schools. My children’s school run a holiday club. It’s very affordable compared to other ones, but they you sort of feel like it’s exclusive just for that school, but it isn’t. You know, my my nephew’s been as well. You know, you can have any child from any sort go to it and it’s about £15 a day, you know, so it’s really really affordable compared to other ones that can be 3550 something like that. So there are definitely things around that you can find or you know playdates with friends you know that that can be their favorite ones. Um I mean my kids love it when I just ignore them for the day I’m work just ignore us and just let us do our own thing in our own home and that’s their favorite day. You know they’re in their pajamas and they just eat snacks all day and they play the games and I take them out for a walk at lunchtime you know. So it is sometimes those small things you overlook but there you do have to know your full pool of resources as well. Yeah. So definitely look into that and asking as well. So so many of my friends have never offered to look after my kids. But the summer I decided to ask everyone. I can’t remember why there was some reason for me to need help. And I just asked I said can you offer any help this summer? I’m more than happy for your kids to sleep over. I so many sleepovers that year because I could do the sleepover but I couldn’t do during the day. And they most of the time if you think of someone asking you for help you will say yes. And if you can’t with someone else’s children playing with your children that’s like a tick cuz you don’t have to find the entertainment then because another child is the entertainment. So true. So because you can feed them and keep them safe. It makes life easier. So true. Okay. We’re going to do a quick fire round. Um I’m going to go around the table. Plan it or wing it. Well, we know. Look, I I I am a pl a woman who plans things, but just my life is often full of chaos. Uh, and so my plans often go out the window. But this year, I’m going to try and be more Gemma. And I want it once you’ve done your planner. I want it. Please prepopulated. And I’m going to just see if I can follow it. Cuz why not? Why not? My my parents on there as well. I mean, I might change some names. They’re like, if I if I if it’s working for you, why wouldn’t it work for me? Definitely. Let’s try it. Let’s see if it’s just grandparent day. I shall ring the grandparents and see what they want to do. This is what Gemma’s grandparents are doing. Yeah. I I’m a winging winging planner. And what I mean by that is the days are dedicated to some sort of childare whether it’s me, Paul, um grandparents, kids club, but the activities are open and spontaneous that Yeah. I’m planner. Yeah. Um but I will allow spontaneous moments that will plan in the diary. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be a planner and Jade. I’m the planner, too. But I’m going to try and have a bit of winging it. Yeah, we’ll try. Yeah, we’ll try. I love your idea of having key things and making sure you’ve got them in. I think I’ I do that, but I’m holding it here and actually could go on a list. It’s nice cuz at the end of the summer, we take it off together. Did we go here? Did we do this? Did we do that then? No, we need to do it this weekend. Did we do that? So, and we also have a family summer tournament. We have a tournament for everything here. So, we have start the scores at the start of summer. Yeah. You’re going to get something at the end that feels exciting. Whether it’s a cheap little tattoo trophy or just something and that fuels the summer of, you know, who’s winning? Oh my gosh, we’ve only got two weeks. So, that’s such a good idea. We have started to create some traditions as well that have just naturally formed. And one is glamping with um my friend and her family. So there’s five children and us two and we’re doing we’ve done that every year now for the last four years. And then my friend as well has moved um to Sudbury and I get an Airbnb and I either stay a week or a weekend near her and pretend she’s my neighbor. Um and we’ve just done that for the last couple of years and I love to see and so they come into the diary every year as well. So funny how other people’s traditions are part of your kind of exposure. She’s going to be so weirded out when I turn up at that early. Hi neighbor. She is a child of visiting neighbor. She’s very welcoming. She love you. Okay. One big trips or lots of little moments. Oh, lots of little ones for me. Yeah. Those are little moments. Yeah. One big trip or lots of little moments. You can answer too. And holiday club or grandparents? Both. Anyone that’s willing. Um I’m at grandparents age so I can’t vouch. Okay. I have started to have to message friends um and say and try and sync the holiday clubs with their friends as well now which is a whole another lay you know leazing but um I don’t know both is I’m going to say because you can’t you can’t replace the things that grandparents could give but holiday clubs have a lot more a lot of activities in it don’t they so yeah okay if you stripped summer back to three things you want your children to feel what would they be and we’re going to go one two or three And if I have anything to say, I’ll say it. Joy. Shine. You’re going to say laughter. Nice. Good. Freedom. Ease. So, what’s one memory from your own childhood? Summer. I used to play in the sprinkler with my neighbor who was my friend. So, yeah. So, I bought a sprinkler so my boys can do the same. Uh, picnics. So, picnics near a park with my mom’s friends and their children and like, you know, like cousins sort of people. Just playing out the front, which is like a really old thing to do, but just literally playing with my neighbors. Yeah, just playing out the front. I used to love your mics, you know, all of that. Do I do that anymore, kids? No. I mean, I went my kids at the front. I love it. I mean, you’d come in when it gets dark and go out when you’ve had breakfast and that was it. Yeah. Get appelled to go to the shop and that was your day. Just for something different cuz I did have those things too. But um other than the water slide was like epic part of summer. I I loved and this is not summary at all but going up at the end of a summer day and doing blockbuster and picking a movie and getting your movie snacks and then mom would close the curtains and move the sofa and then we knew it was movie afternoon. It was so much fun. Yeah, it was really cute. Um okay, so the system might be broken. The maths might not add up. And yes, it might feel like a military operation, but your children won’t remember the calendar with the spreadsheets. They’ll remember how summer felt. And you don’t need six weeks of perfection, you just need moments of presence. So maybe this summer, instead of asking, “Have I done enough?” we can ask, “Were we together enough?” So what does a successful summer actually look like for you? We’d love to hear in the comments. And who told you that that was the standard? We’ll see you next time. Happy summer holiday planning.
