Men’s Mental Health: Paul Adams’ Story of Addiction and Recovery

This June, for Men’s Mental Health Month, Ms the Word welcomed its first-ever guest — Paul Adams of Pepper Money — to talk openly about his journey through addiction and recovery.

The numbers behind the conversation:

• Men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women in the UK
• Suicide is the leading cause of death for men under 50
• Men are less likely to access talking therapies
• Alcohol-related deaths are significantly higher among men

Paul’s Story

Paul’s drinking escalated during the breakdown of his 20-year marriage. What started as social drinking became a daily crutch — a way to numb emotions rather than face them. By the time things hit their lowest point, he was drinking from morning to night, hiding alcohol in bushes and Wellington boots, and going missing for hours at a time.

It was his sister who finally stepped in, driving him to his first AA meeting and helping him tell his employer. Paul then spent four weeks in a residential treatment programme — an experience he credits with turning his life around. Nearly five years sober, he’s since made it his mission to talk openly about what he went through.

Key Takeaways

Therapy takes time. Paul admits he initially gave up on one-to-one therapy after two sessions because he felt like he “wasn’t gaining anything.” It was only during his four weeks of intensive treatment that he saw real value — a reminder to stick with it longer than it feels comfortable to.

Fear keeps men silent. For Paul, the biggest barrier to asking for help was fear — fear that admitting a problem would damage the reputation he’d worked hard to build.

Vulnerability invites vulnerability. Paul’s found that sharing his own story first is often what gives other men the “permission” to open up in return.

Admitting the problem is step one. His advice to anyone struggling: name the issue, and seek help in whatever way works for you — without fear of judgement.

Recovery reshapes relationships. Rebuilding trust with his partner and children took time and honesty, but Paul describes his relationships today as stronger — built on a foundation of separating the addiction from the person.

The Bigger Picture

The conversation touched on something bigger than one man’s story: the stigma that stops so many men from reaching out, and the small, meaningful shifts — men’s groups, open conversations at home, colleagues checking in — that are slowly changing that.